She was born in Melbourne, Australia to the descendents of Irish convicts. She proved a terrible Catholic and was quickly expelled from Roman Scripture class.
Helen joined Young Labor in her teens and was quickly expelled from her Unity faction.
Helen studied in Philosophy and English Literature at Sydney University and was not expelled. Rather, she received a job offer from a radio station on the day of her final Patrick White exam and elected to quit two credits shy of graduation; a decision she occasionally regrets.
Quite possibly the first female breakfast announcer on Australian radio and certainly the most annoying, Helen spent her twenties talking to other people in their twenties or teens. For several years, she Did Time as an arts broadcaster on ABC Local Radio where she talked to people of an age inclined to write outraged letters about her approach to contemporary theatre.
Currently, Helen works as a columnist with FHM and The Big Issue. She contributes opinion pieces on technology and whatnot to The Age, The Sydney Morning Herald, and ABC’s The Drum. She contributes to Rolling Stone GQ, Cherrie and other outlets as a writer of arts, travel and culture content.
She is 44. Fuck.