Plane and Simple Grooming – Melbourne Airport Magazine

Robbed of its lustre by sour air and average food, sky high skin can sag and pucker like a day-old doughnut.  Helen Razer is on the hunt for the finest long haul quick fix and on the run from Plane Hair.  These tips will take you to a post flight meeting or poolside tryst looking very much like an actual human.

Please come this way ma’am, is not a phrase one hopes to hear at LAX.  Particularly when it is emitted by a uniformed giantess with a locker full of latex gloves.  After a fourteen hour stretch in a tin can that rattled all the way from Sydney, US Immigration scored well below a vodkatini and just above line-dancing on a list of Favourite Post Flight Ways To Unwind.
An hour or three passed before Christie gave me travel ink.  As sheíd seen me splayed on a plastic sheet, I felt that intimate chat was not out of the question.  Why, I asked her, did she detain me for so very, very long.

ìWell honey.  Itís because you look like hell.

If, like me, youíre one of those unfortunate travellers whose skin acquires the tenor of a Drug Lord before the plane has left the tarmac, you must learn to primp and moisturise.  Since Christie, who was a fan of Kiehlís, gave me the heads up on hydration, Iíve not been arrested even once.

The great news is that there are many reasonably priced pre, post and inflight product options for the haggard traveller.  Skin care is trending toward more gender neutral packaging and scents, so there is absolutely no reason that the arriving male should present as a threat to state security.

Before diving into your hand luggage, however, thereís some tedious counsel you simply must bear.  Ready?  Consuming water is good for your skin.  Consuming booze ainít.  As tempting as a gratis Bloody Mary may be, it will leave you looking blotchy and ravaged and feeling like youíve been at a Year 12 formal.

Similarly, sugar will rob you of the chance not to look like Vlad the Impaler.  A rapid rise in blood sugar will cause inflammation.  Apart from these instant biochemical changes, sugar can enact a horrifying long term process known as glycation.  This essentially means that your collagen vanishes for good and skin retains all the elasticity of last seasonís sweat pants.
Caffeine, trans fats and cruddy carbs can all sap the skin of youthful resilience.  Even if you canít avoid this poison inflight, you can ensure that your diet is rich in skin foods leading up to your journey.   Foods containing high amounts of beta-carotene and Vitamin E may reduce skin drought.  Avocadoes and Brazil nuts are good sources of E.  Kumera, which is loaded with beta-carotene, is considered by some to be a super food. Vitamin C is regarded as an immune booster and a histamine fighter.  Zinc is a skin tonic and a great excuse to load up on oysters.  Follow these morsels with a hit of Omega 3 Fatty Acids in the form of tuna cerviche.

Even an assiduous diet and fitness regime can leave a frequent flyer flaky.  So you might consider stuffing your hand luggage with a few tried and true gems.
The first rule is to moisturise.  The second rule of Flight Club is, also, to moisturise.  Generally, your face can cop a rich night cream in the rarefied air of an aeroplane.  LíOccitaneís Shea Ultra Rich Face Cream 24 Hour is hydration heaven.  Appropriate for both men and women, this lavish pot is perfect for the rigours of travel.  The company has also recently introduced a bloke-specific shaving oil.  Cade Travel Oil smells exactly like a delectable rusticated Master of the Universe and will purify and nourish even as you shave.  And I PROMISE not to use it on my legs.

For rash prone skin, you canít really look past a cosmetic classic.  Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream has been a remedial charm for over seventy years.  Its almost medicinal quality makes it a great gender neutral choice.  Honestly, it works out so many kinks.  Chapped lips, dry heels and a crumbling complexion can all be restored by this marvel.
A moisturiser can mesh very well with a serum.  If youíre serious about a healthy looking visage, the quasi-science of serums can merit investigation.  If you havenít the time, then trust me.  Australian company Ultraceuticals produces a very reasonably priced gem called C10 Serum.  At $AU75, a vial should last several months.  After using it for some instant radiance after a flight, Iím now a daily dabbler.  The stable Vitamin C solution really does even out your skin tone and reduce fine lines.  Give it a trial run before using it on a plane.  Like all the C products, it can initially cause a few small blockages.  Oddly, however, after initially producing blackheads, it now seems to keep them totally at bay on my own face.
For total body hydration, Skin Drink Airbrush Moisturiser from local cult brand Modelco is an effortless choice.  For top notch vacation skin, simply spray this all over your sweet self.
Toners can offer a brilliant instant pick me up.  Formulated to combat the foe of good skin, air conditioning, Breath of Fresh Air Toner from Lush is potent.  This seductive brand offers a range of antidotes to modern life. I really ought to stay away from their stores as Iíve now become Smitten Handcream dependent as well.
Shiseidoís The Skincare Soothing Spray is not, strictly speaking, a toner.  An invigorating scent makes this little bottle of hydrating goodness a functional inflight treat.
Make-up, almost needless to impart, is to be avoided on aircraft.  If you must wear a foundation, remove it as soon as possible.  A convenient and effective ready made regimen comes in the form of Trilogy Travellers.  No nonsense packaging and a scent wrought only from botanical ingredients, this brand is outlandishly good.  Why didnít anyone tell me about it before now?

A tremendous indulgence comes in the form of Gel Jambes Legeres.  Trust luxury brand Guinot to think of your poor swollen legs. And, heavens, it truly does work. Smelling of fresh Florida oranges, Guinotís Bien Vivre body fragrance is a virtual war on plane whiff.

Panda eyes are a menace.  The best method of concealing these has always been Yves Saint Laurentís Touch Eclat.  Itís an appallingly expensive way to correct a few millimetres of dark flesh but, it has to be said, this magic wand erases dark circles instantly.

Another textbook instant fix is Clarins Beauty Flash Balm.  Donít argue.  Just dab some on your face before deplaning and, voila, Angelina.
For wide awake eyes, it ís a toss up for me between Thalgo and EstÈe Lauder. Thalgoís entire eye care range is dazzling.  EstÈeís Stress Relief Eye Mask is timeless.
If grooming concerns overwhelm you, the only solution is sleep.  And, yes, thereís a balm for that as well.  Drift off with a dash of Badger Balm.  As far as I know, it contains no badger.  But, jiminy, it is soothing.

Try all of this before your next dalliance with immigration and visas should be a breeze.